I feel like I have to post this since he’s my former roommate in all, but this is a very, very touching article.
It’s a good article!
The only issue I take with it is when he says:
Some don’t think deafness is a disability; it’s just a way of life. After all, we can do anything except hear. But I don’t want to be part of the Deaf world, which seems so cloistered sometimes. I want to be part of the larger world - and out here, not being able to hear is a pretty significant disadvantage.
There’s no reason why you can’t be both? I walk with one foot in both cultures and do just fine. I don’t in any way think that the Deaf world and Hearing world are mutually exclusive. They require different things from me, but I function fairly well in both. And given that the hearing world is much larger than that of the Deaf world, I find it rather easy live a large portion of my life in the hearing world.
Is not being able to hear a disadvantage? Sometimes. I certainly won’t (read: can’t) deny that. But how well or dismally I function in the hearing world does not dictate how I isolate myself or function in the Deaf world, and vice versa.
I fully respect his opinion and his choices. It’s simply my personal opinion that you can (and I do!) have both worlds. I can function with “society at large” and still have people I communicate with easily and share common struggles among. (Something it seems he doesn’t have, unfortunately).
…
completely unrelated to the above:
Also he says:
Happiness is a verb.
I don’t think I get this. Happiness is a noun. Or I’m missing a nuance completely. The closest word I can think of to make happy a verb is “to be happy”(adjective) or to do something “happily” (adverb).
Yeah, and Elle pointed out several other issues, too. I just kinda jumped to post it since I’ve known the guy for so long I trusted him not to be a dick and it was after posting it that it was shown to be at least a tad dickish. So, again, I apologize.
You don’t need to apologize! He speaks honestly about his life and his choices. He’s more than welcome to them. I just don’t personally agree with some of his… I want to say statements, but I think the word “opinions” or “beliefs” is the better choice. I just didn’t get where he was coming from. It seems like he talks about how he doesn’t want to be part of the Deaf culture without actually ever experiencing the Deaf culture. Like when I used to say that I hate watermelon because I was scared to try it (because my grandfather told me if you swallow a seed it will grow in your stomach and all I could picture was myself having a watermelon growing in me until I burst. I learned later that A) That won’t happen. and B) I very much enjoy watermelon!) Maybe he HAS tried to be in the Deaf community, but it didn’t come off that way to me. Again, his choice. I just sort of feel like he’s … scared?… of the Deaf community or the stigma it might attach to him. If that makes sense???
The irony is, he’s the one who actually encouraged me to seek out being Deaf instead of HOH. He pushed me to do more Deaf events and learn ASL better. He was always incredibly pro-Deafness. Then he went away for a year for a co-op. I guess he changed.
Wow!!! Talk about a freaking 180!!! From the sounds of things, he doesn’t even sign ASL. He mentions Cued Speech, but that’s about it. I am rather flabbergasted, to say the least!
I feel like I have to post this since he’s my former roommate in all, but this is a very, very touching article.
is that sarcasm? i cant tell. cause i thought this article was disgusting.
How so?
im all for letting people have their opinions and talking about their experiences and what not, but that article is so filled with internalized audism.
and why do articles about d/Deaf people always mention a silent world, i dont know about you but im pretty damn LOUD.
here are a few quotes:
“Being deaf especially sucks when it comes to love. You can’t ever love someone unless you’ve talked to them. So how do you communicate effectively? Everything I’ve ever thought of is awkward, because none of them are ever normal. Social norms are norms because they are what people expect.
I’ve talked to people “normally.” It’s hard, it’s error-prone, and we have to repeat a lot. That’s never a good recipe for love. It’s hard to have awesome conversations when you have to repeat every other thing you say and are never sure whether the other person understood.
I could try to find a deaf girl. However, I don’t want my kids to have an increased chance of deafness. Even if they come out hearing, we’d need to make sure they’re raised right - who will teach them how to talk? And I don’t identify with Deaf culture, which takes pride in being deaf. I accept that deafness is part of me, but it’s just there. Like the fact I have black hair.”
“I never considered myself part of Deaf culture. It arose because, I suspect, we were lonely. It’s the same for any minority. Except this time, Deaf culture came together because of a common language everyone could understand - American Sign Language. I’ve heard the stories. Deaf people entering college for the first time. Finding other deaf students. Suddenly, during their first sleepless night, they’re making up for all the conversations they had missed.
Some become angry at the hearing world. They went so long without feeling like they belonged. Without feeling loved.
Some don’t think deafness is a disability; it’s just a way of life. After all, we can do anything except hear. But I don’t want to be part of the Deaf world, which seems so cloistered sometimes. I want to be part of the larger world - and out here, not being able to hear is a pretty significant disadvantage.”
its so UGH. and now hearing people are reading this and thinking this is what all deaf/Deaf and HOH people feel. where is the balance?
this is pretty much how I felt whilst reading this article.
Yes, I get frustrated and pissy a lot. Yes, I have a lot of self-loathing. I’m sure I post more rants about being deaf on here than positive things - but that doesn’t mean I hate being deaf.
It can be hard for sure, but I think I have a pretty fulfilling life (to a point. it is not fulfilling sitting around job hunting ok) - I do a lot of the same things hearing people do. One of the major things you’ve probably noticed by now, is going to concerts which I hope you have noticed and realized that clearly being deaf doesn’t affected my ability to listen to and enjoy music.
This article for me, while it ended on an okay note, was painful to read. It was so negative. That quote Elle pulled about love & relationships was horrible - anything romantic-ish (???? there has got to be a better word for it because it is NOT romance, far from it) that I’ve done has been with hearing guys. I communicate with hearing people, and for me it is so much more than just talking. I read body language, I read your signals. Maybe you can’t whisper sweet nothings in my ear, but that’s not really a big deal.
The fact that this guy says it is just a part of him, that’s just there, to me that shows how much he doesn’t realize it impacts his life. How much it can impact his life positively. You don’t have to be a part of Deaf culture to be okay with your deafness - I am not a part of it, for no specific reason, and I am okay with my deafness. And I don’t think it’s this cloistered world either, and you folks on tumblr have shown me that.
If I was a hearing person reading this, with no knowledge of deafness, I would think that this is the worst life ever. It isn’t inspirational. It isn’t educational. It is just about how much this guy sees his disability as an enemy.
^^^^
accurate post is accurate.
Yes! That’s exactly it! I had totally forgotten the part about romantic-ish-ness(??) made me so sad!!! Yes, it is hard! It freaking SUCKS sometimes! But the bit about not wanting to date a deaf girl because you’re scared your kids might be deaf too and who would teach them to speak?!?!?! WHAT?!
I feel like if we trace his geneology back far enough we’re going to find a A. Graham Bell on there somewhere….
I feel like I have to post this since he’s my former roommate in all, but this is a very, very touching article.
It’s a good article!
The only issue I take with it is when he says:
Some don’t think deafness is a disability; it’s just a way of life. After all, we can do anything except hear. But I don’t want to be part of the Deaf world, which seems so cloistered sometimes. I want to be part of the larger world - and out here, not being able to hear is a pretty significant disadvantage.
There’s no reason why you can’t be both? I walk with one foot in both cultures and do just fine. I don’t in any way think that the Deaf world and Hearing world are mutually exclusive. They require different things from me, but I function fairly well in both. And given that the hearing world is much larger than that of the Deaf world, I find it rather easy live a large portion of my life in the hearing world.
Is not being able to hear a disadvantage? Sometimes. I certainly won’t (read: can’t) deny that. But how well or dismally I function in the hearing world does not dictate how I isolate myself or function in the Deaf world, and vice versa.
I fully respect his opinion and his choices. It’s simply my personal opinion that you can (and I do!) have both worlds. I can function with “society at large” and still have people I communicate with easily and share common struggles among. (Something it seems he doesn’t have, unfortunately).
…
completely unrelated to the above:
Also he says:
Happiness is a verb.
I don’t think I get this. Happiness is a noun. Or I’m missing a nuance completely. The closest word I can think of to make happy a verb is “to be happy”(adjective) or to do something “happily” (adverb).
Yeah, and Elle pointed out several other issues, too. I just kinda jumped to post it since I’ve known the guy for so long I trusted him not to be a dick and it was after posting it that it was shown to be at least a tad dickish. So, again, I apologize.
You don’t need to apologize! He speaks honestly about his life and his choices. He’s more than welcome to them. I just don’t personally agree with some of his… I want to say statements, but I think the word “opinions” or “beliefs” is the better choice. I just didn’t get where he was coming from. It seems like he talks about how he doesn’t want to be part of the Deaf culture without actually ever experiencing the Deaf culture. Like when I used to say that I hate watermelon because I was scared to try it (because my grandfather told me if you swallow a seed it will grow in your stomach and all I could picture was myself having a watermelon growing in me until I burst. I learned later that A) That won’t happen. and B) I very much enjoy watermelon!) Maybe he HAS tried to be in the Deaf community, but it didn’t come off that way to me. Again, his choice. I just sort of feel like he’s … scared?… of the Deaf community or the stigma it might attach to him. If that makes sense???
I feel like I have to post this since he’s my former roommate in all, but this is a very, very touching article.
It’s a good article!
The only issue I take with it is when he says:
Some don’t think deafness is a disability; it’s just a way of life. After all, we can do anything except hear. But I don’t want to be part of the Deaf world, which seems so cloistered sometimes. I want to be part of the larger world - and out here, not being able to hear is a pretty significant disadvantage.
There’s no reason why you can’t be both? I walk with one foot in both cultures and do just fine. I don’t in any way think that the Deaf world and Hearing world are mutually exclusive. They require different things from me, but I function fairly well in both. And given that the hearing world is much larger than that of the Deaf world, I find it rather easy live a large portion of my life in the hearing world.
Is not being able to hear a disadvantage? Sometimes. I certainly won’t (read: can’t) deny that. But how well or dismally I function in the hearing world does not dictate how I isolate myself or function in the Deaf world, and vice versa.
I fully respect his opinion and his choices. It’s simply my personal opinion that you can (and I do!) have both worlds. I can function with “society at large” and still have people I communicate with easily and share common struggles among. (Something it seems he doesn’t have, unfortunately).
…
completely unrelated to the above:
Also he says:
Happiness is a verb.
I don’t think I get this. Happiness is a noun. Or I’m missing a nuance completely. The closest word I can think of to make happy a verb is “to be happy”(adjective) or to do something “happily” (adverb).
1902 - 1904
- A few missionary nuns from Baltimore, Maryland came from Sacred Heart to Puerto Rico to teach ASL. One of the nuns was deaf.
- The nuns moved to Aguadilla and established the first school for the deaf, using SE (Signed English) as the method of communication.
Never trust hearing people in regards to Google Captions on Youtube. What they consider to be “Alright, 90% accurate” will leave you with words like “How blues singers work” (How neurotransmitters work), “Renegades on the senate floor” (2-year old schizophrenic), “Linda Rondstat” (loose…
I definitely agree with this. Just because something says it’s captioned doesn’t mean it’s captioned well . And if that’s the only source of information you really have, it tend to be important that it’s captioned well.
Starting in the 1980’s, drama ‘The End’ follows 4 Deaf children over 60 years. After the introduction of a treatment aimed at eradicating deafness, the very survival of Deaf language and culture is at stake. Featuring stunning visual effects and an ensemble cast, ‘The End’ is a thought-provoking alternative vision of the future.
Film is in BSL (uses some signed British from the sound of it as well - it’s supposed to show the 4 Deaf children using different communication methods instead of just one) with English subtitles.
As someone who is proud to be Deaf and loves Deaf culture. The end of this film absolutely broke my heart. Please watch. It’s not perfect (some things I have an issue with) but the topic is a very real topic. What is the future of Deaf culture? So many people think Deaf people shouldn’t exist, that they should be fixed. When there’s a cure available… what’s going to happen to deaf babies? Most hearing people will just automatically want their deaf babies to be cured. Will Deaf people eventually cease to exist?
i remember the first time i watched this, about a year ago.. it hurt to watch it. i was heartbroken as well.
Of course, that’s probably one of the most masochistic things I could do, but here it is (with a MASSIVE TW for ableism and audism below the cut). I just wanted to put some points up for anyone who might not believe our angst (and/or too lazy to look at the video). All of the comments I put afterwards were sent in reply on the comments, but all are “Awaiting moderator approval”, so I doubt they’re going to get posted.
I noticed this quarter, as I looked around my 90+ students, that boys seems to have a harder time being expressive with their face than girls. This is hardly a revelation, I know. It’s pretty common.
But it go me thinking… why? Why do boys struggle so much with facial expressions when compared to girls? Not only for grammatical markers, but even more so with emotional markers (signing HAPPY? You should look happy. Signing EMBARRASSED; try looking embarrassed. Signing ANXIOUS? You guessed it: appear anxious.).
And here’s a theory I came up with. Most boys that I have known have grown up with a rather “Big boys don’t cry” mentality. I have seen it over and over again in friendships and relationships. I think that sentimentality carries over into my signing classes. If you are making all these “pathetic” facial expressions, it means you have to admit to feeling scared, anxious, defeated, or even happy, excited, and motivated. How very… uncool!
I don’t really think this is a conscious decision. It has just occurred to me that most men in our mainstream culture grow up with the idea that to be overly expressive is to be effeminate. You don’t want to look “girly”, so you have to “man up!”
But here’s the thing… while the mentality of boys “sucking it up” may be present in Deaf culture, the idea of being less expressive is definitely absent. In Deaf culture, being expressive with your face and body is cherished, valued, and smiled-upon. Having the “blank face” expression is our version of the walking dead! So how do you make the transition? How do you convince guys (and some girls, of course) to “get in touch with their emotions”?
It’s work, and it can be frustrating, but I think that a constant reminder of being in a different culture is important. Also, watching guys sign who ARE expressive. Most interpreters and even youtube ASL song interpreters are women! I think it’s time to call out the guys! SHOW that guys can be expressive with their signing! More Deaf guy performers, and more guy interpreters!!!
Time to step it up, boys! I have faith in you!
- Attolia in Deaf research paper rant (via hamiathiesgift)
Thesedeafeyes: I’m not entirely sure I agree with this, with the comparison between the deaf child getting a cochlear implant and a hearing child learning a second language. You forgot that while they are learning a new language, they also must learn a new MODE of communication when they get a cochlear implant. It ISN’T just like a hearing child learning Spanish later.
Do I think that all deaf children who get a cochlear later in life will fail? Heavens, no! I know many people that have received implants later in life and done just fine! It will, however, require more work because the brain has already wired itself a specific way. The person now has to re-awaken a part of the brain they have not used so much before. And I think it still works out: if you really want to hear, you’ll do the extra work and go to the classes/therapy for it. If you don’t, then you don’t. Of course, some people get the cochlear implant and are simply just not successful regardless of the work they put in. There’s definitely a bit of chance thrown in as well.
For example: I’m Deaf, but grew up hearing. When I went to Australia, I picked up on Auslan much easier than my hearing classmates because I was already used to the signed mode of communication. THEY picked up on the Australian accent which I struggled with (both copying in my own speech and lipreading theirs). Is it possible? Most definitely! But I’m used to signed languages now as my primary mode of communication. The rest is work. It applies both ways- sign to learning spoken language and spoken to learning a signed language. But I don’t think the correlation between a person knowing a signed language learning a spoken language can necessarily be compared to a person knowing a spoken language learning another spoken language.
(And yes, I know that some people are able to learn visual languages faster and easier than they can learn spoken languages. I’m simply saying a hearing person is probably going to pick up a spoken language easier and faster than a deaf person who is still learning how to hear in the first place.)
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